AN OCEAN IN A DROP

 I was obsessed with helium balloons in my childhood. I used to get excited about buying helium balloons in Melas of my village. Once a balloon was in my hand, my whole world used to revolve around my balloon. That little thing used to be my Sun. It used to light me up. My little miracle. I used to buy a new color every time. Red. Yellow. White. But strangely, all the colors used to make me equally happy. I never got tired of holding a balloon tightly to stop it from flying away. Sadly, despite holding it, tying it to my finger or wrist, and keeping it close to me in the hope that it would stay forever, it still used to slip through my hands. The pain it gave me to see it leave my captivity used to be enough to make me cry. And yet, the beauty it offered in watching it rise in the sky was ineffable. Painful and Beautiful. I used to sit on the terrace and watch it rise until it was invisible. My Baloon! It left me, but it got to fly high, which I didn't get to. At last, I used to ac...

 Hey there! Today I wish to write about all the things gone unsaid in my Samsung notes waiting to be let out. I call it unsaid words to my beloved. I, like most humans, struggle with self-expression but hey... I have this blog. And today I am going to dump all of it here. There it goes-- Hearing a hello from you is like a beautiful happy ending to a very sad movie. I waited for a long time for your love and now I know nothing is impossible. And if anyone suggests otherwise Love, then they don't know the power of Love. You are the person I think of when I watch a sunset. You are my home and I will keep returning to you after a long tiring day. I am with them and yet I feel alone. I am at the right place only when I am with you. I don't know how to tell you how much I have destroyed myself for your memory to survive. I can be anywhere in this world and still be homesick for your arms. Isn't it beautiful what we have or what I have for you? I love you to a point it breaks me.....

I am a mental health advocate and I have a million and very legit reasons to be one. Because why shouldn't one be supporting mental wellness along with physical wellness as a concept of health. I am a mental health advocate because a person acting unhappy and sensitive is called unstable in my society without giving a single thought to the words being said.  I am a mental health advocate because a psychiatrist is called "a doctor for crazy people".  I am a mental health advocate because most of us don't understand that a bipolar isn't something you are, it is something you have.  I am a mental health advocate because a child is the father of the man and sometimes the making of little human is tainted because we don't understand how important every action and every word towards that little human is. I am a mental health advocate because we expect the men of our house to protect and provide and women of our house to nurture the family 24*7, 365 days without losi...

What is in me that hurts so much?' What is it that hurt so much  like a thousand knives stabbing my heart. like a thousand little hands choking my neck. Like a thousand bullets piercing my lungs. Like a thousand canons targeting me and only me. Like a thousand grenades blowing my head off. Like a thousand swords stuck in my heart.  What is it? And How do I fight it?

Virah-The realization of Love through Separation. Yes, I am back with yet another writing about an emotion I love and value the most-Love. Is it the Love or the Lover that has the value? Is it the Separation or the Union that becomes the catalyst for the realization of Love? Dear Reader, if you are smiling right now, congratulations!!! There is a possibility that the most beautiful and incurable disease called Love has made you its prey. Each Subject has their own symptoms... and yet very similar. Anyways, We were talking about Virah... right? Yeah so. I am using a hindi word because one language can never be enough to express everything. I can bet my life on the fact that words can never be enough to say how Love acts through you.  In the absence of your beloved, would you wallow and cry asking and preying for them? A million times yes. But there comes a stage when you will not feel separated. Even in their absence, there is a presence so stronger and so ecstatic that it is more t...

 Things have been wildly lately. Yet I have continued to fall in love with life. Today I am here to tell the world about how dumb a sapiosexual can get. (Double standards) It was a Saturday and I had to travel to a city to meet my therapist and rant about my life in general. I happened to start an argument with the people I live with. Until then I was pissed. I took the bus, put some headphones on. After a few minutes, the bus reached a point where it had to take a left turn. Instead, it kept going straight and my so very analytical mind started calculating to find some route to my town unknown to me which the bus was about to take. And then it hit me.. I AM ON THE WRONG BUS. And I, acting like a person who has basically given up on life, asked the conductor to drop me at the next stop which btw was 8 km away simply because my lazy ass didn't feel like standing up and leaving......  I reached there..... had to wait for 20 minutes for the bus to come back. Alright, I said to my...

 There is always some madness in love. -Frederich Nietzsche True that... When we love, we love like Gods who own this world and who can burn it down just for the sake of their beloved or make it a better place just because our beloved lives here. On the flip side, we are humane, full of errors. The reason we lose our love is that we are lost. In our quest to find ourselves, we can finally get the divine sight to see our love in its divinity.  We take our people for granted, we take our lives, moments, smiles, laughter, a cup of tea for granted. Before we notice, love slips by our hand like the sand.  And in the end, we regret every decision we make, every confession we didn't make. So here is a piece of mad advice from a madwoman, Relax, It's not about Love. just kidding it is.. Irony. A bit of love advice from a woman who failed at love. Whenever you love, do not the course of this world decide your pace and intensity, do not let love weigh your shoulders. Keep in your h...